I have a friend who believes in nominal predestination. He thinks that your name determines a great deal about who you will become. For example, was Yogi Berra more likely to become:
a) a nuclear physicist
b) a malaprop spouting baseball hero
The answer, of course, is b. If your name is classy, he theorized, you would tend to be more sophisticated. If your name was Bubba you might not be predestined to enjoy an opera libretto. I viewed his theory with interest but a bit of confusion. What nominal predestination awaited a person with a pedestrian name like Dave?
The concept of creative naming had not blossomed when I arrived midway through the Baby Boom. My moniker was the fifth most popular of my birth year. Numbers one through four were Robert, James, Michael, and John. So I imagine that the millions and millions of Bobs, Jims, Mikes, Johns, and Daves would be sympathetic to someone wanting a bit of unique identity in their lives.
I remembered an early punk-rock group during the mid-60’s that had a huge number one hit called “96 Tears.” The group was called ? and the Mysterians and the lead singer was named Rudy Martinez. In 1966 Martinez went to court and had his named changed to ? (not Question Mark) but the actual symbol. So the artist formerly known as Prince was merely copying ? when he changed his name to a symbol. I have often wondered what hassles old ? goes through now that his hit is long since forgotten. According to websites devoted to the group he still goes by that symbol. It must be interesting.
“ ?…table for 2 ” or “ If there is a ? on board please ring your flight attendant call button ”
After briefing toying with changing my name to * to honor Roger Maris I decided to move past symbols and examine pronouns. A Branson, Missouri, man legally changed his name to the pronoun “They.” A 45 year old guy formerly known as Andrew Wilson says the name change started as a family joke. Like many of us he wondered “Who is this `they’ when people say `They say this’ and `They say that?'”
He even has a driver’s license with the name on it…or so They say. They has no interest in going back to Andrew. So the next time you hear “They say that” you will know it originates in Branson. But the most over the top name change was just in the news. A 19–year-old man has changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com to support a campaign against the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain. Formerly named Chris Garnett, the man says the name is official and has a drivers license to prove it.
The new name “never fails to spark a discussion,” according to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I would imagine that is true. Try to picture the possibilities.
Him: (They is staying out of this one) “Hi, my name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com”
Me: “Nice to meet you. My name is TheBurgerKingDancesFunny.org.”
Him: “Seriously. My name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I changed my name to protest the inhumane treatment of chickens.”
Me: “Later Dude. Much later.”
KentuckyFriedCruelty.com reports at his website (oddly enough of the same name) that his parents “were a little shocked at first” with the name change. They still call him Chris, but “have accepted the change.” They are no doubt looking forward to their grandkids someday. Little KentuckyFried.org will be quite unique around the old day care. KentuckyFriedCruetly.com works for an organization that gets publicity out of stunts like this so it shall remain nameless.
While I am sticking with the nominally vanilla Dave I did realize that I have added a name over the years. I have added the name Christian to my identity. And I must admit that I did not always contemplate how serious that responsibility was when I added that name to mine. As I mentioned in prior blogs about the Victoria Osteen event, having the title Christian by your name raises the bar on your life. Oh, it does not guarantee perfection. I don’t get in the same zip code with perfection. But calling yourself a Christian does mean you have given up some rights in order to demonstrate Jesus in your life. The classic quote of Saint Francis of Assissi should be the daily mediation of all who call themselves followers of Christ.
“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
That is the emphasis for 2006 for the Christian still boringly known as Dave. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. At least that is what “They” say.
“Confessions of a Bad Christian” – “?” Understands the Kentucky Fried Guy…or so “They” say.
Dave BurchettI have a friend who believes in nominal predestination. He thinks that your name determines a great deal about who you will become. For example, was Yogi Berra more likely to become:
a) a nuclear physicist
b) a malaprop spouting baseball hero
The answer, of course, is b. If your name is classy, he theorized, you would tend to be more sophisticated. If your name was Bubba you might not be predestined to enjoy an opera libretto. I viewed his theory with interest but a bit of confusion. What nominal predestination awaited a person with a pedestrian name like Dave?
The concept of creative naming had not blossomed when I arrived midway through the Baby Boom. My moniker was the fifth most popular of my birth year. Numbers one through four were Robert, James, Michael, and John. So I imagine that the millions and millions of Bobs, Jims, Mikes, Johns, and Daves would be sympathetic to someone wanting a bit of unique identity in their lives.
I remembered an early punk-rock group during the mid-60’s that had a huge number one hit called “96 Tears.” The group was called ? and the Mysterians and the lead singer was named Rudy Martinez. In 1966 Martinez went to court and had his named changed to ? (not Question Mark) but the actual symbol. So the artist formerly known as Prince was merely copying ? when he changed his name to a symbol. I have often wondered what hassles old ? goes through now that his hit is long since forgotten. According to websites devoted to the group he still goes by that symbol. It must be interesting.
“ ?…table for 2 ” or “ If there is a ? on board please ring your flight attendant call button ”
After briefing toying with changing my name to * to honor Roger Maris I decided to move past symbols and examine pronouns. A Branson, Missouri, man legally changed his name to the pronoun “They.” A 45 year old guy formerly known as Andrew Wilson says the name change started as a family joke. Like many of us he wondered “Who is this `they’ when people say `They say this’ and `They say that?'”
He even has a driver’s license with the name on it…or so They say. They has no interest in going back to Andrew. So the next time you hear “They say that” you will know it originates in Branson. But the most over the top name change was just in the news. A 19–year-old man has changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com to support a campaign against the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain. Formerly named Chris Garnett, the man says the name is official and has a drivers license to prove it.
The new name “never fails to spark a discussion,” according to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I would imagine that is true. Try to picture the possibilities.
Him: (They is staying out of this one) “Hi, my name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com”
Me: “Nice to meet you. My name is TheBurgerKingDancesFunny.org.”
Him: “Seriously. My name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I changed my name to protest the inhumane treatment of chickens.”
Me: “Later Dude. Much later.”
KentuckyFriedCruelty.com reports at his website (oddly enough of the same name) that his parents “were a little shocked at first” with the name change. They still call him Chris, but “have accepted the change.” They are no doubt looking forward to their grandkids someday. Little KentuckyFried.org will be quite unique around the old day care. KentuckyFriedCruetly.com works for an organization that gets publicity out of stunts like this so it shall remain nameless.
While I am sticking with the nominally vanilla Dave I did realize that I have added a name over the years. I have added the name Christian to my identity. And I must admit that I did not always contemplate how serious that responsibility was when I added that name to mine. As I mentioned in prior blogs about the Victoria Osteen event, having the title Christian by your name raises the bar on your life. Oh, it does not guarantee perfection. I don’t get in the same zip code with perfection. But calling yourself a Christian does mean you have given up some rights in order to demonstrate Jesus in your life. The classic quote of Saint Francis of Assissi should be the daily mediation of all who call themselves followers of Christ.
“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
That is the emphasis for 2006 for the Christian still boringly known as Dave. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. At least that is what “They” say.