Last year I wrote an article about a “reality” TV show that was so far from reality that it couldn’t see it with the Hubble telescope. The show is called The Girls Next Door and it sleazes up the E! Network on a regular basis. The premise is to look inside life at the Playboy mansion. Another sign of the apocalypse is that this is the fourth season of this show.

Three gorgeous young women vie for the affection of octogenarian Hugh Hefner while they all live under the same roof. Now that is reality! Hefner rates the girls and appoints one of the girls as “number one” like some weird parody of Dr.Evil. In fact, the Mike Myers character Dr.Evil makes this appropriate comment in the movie.

“There’s nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.”

Last year The New York Post reported that the show might have a ratings gimmick planned. They hinted that Hefner might just marry “Number One”. Here is an excerpt from that Post story.

“This is very secret, but the word is ‘yes,’ ” one insider told Page Six. “Hef has decided he will marry Holly, and he wants it for his show, ‘The Girls Next Door.’ Hef thinks business all the time, and looks for a new hook, although he also does really love Holly.”

Hmmm….he thinks business all the time and is looking for a new hook. The afterthought that Hefner “really does love Holly” must certainly have made Number One feel really special and valued. Hefner reportedly wanted to delay the marriage because monogamy would “kill the show”. Another reason for Number One to be wildly optimistic. So I was not a bit surprised when this followup to this ridiculous story appeared today.  

The Dallas Morning News reported that since she first laid eyes on the Playboy mogul in 2001, Hugh Hefner’s “lead” girlfriend, Holly Madison, has made it no secret that she wants to get hitched to the geezer. (Perhaps the first stop should be getting a thorough vision check)

But it seems she’s starting to give up on her dream. “We are no closer to getting married than we were years ago,” she said at last week’s “Playmate of the Year” luncheon in Los Angeles. “It’s like a car stalled at the side of the road.” (So many lines…) She looked away as he added, “I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life. But marriage isn’t part of my puzzle.” (Anyone shocked by this besides Number One?)

Madison was quoted during season one about the odd arrangement she had agreed to live with at the mansion.

She said she “couldn’t believe” that she’s sharing her boyfriend with the other two busty blondes. But, she noted, “you do funny things when you’re in love.”

I would suggest you do funny things when you are infatuated by money and fame and material comforts. You do loving, sacrificial things when you are in love. You sacrifice for your wife and children. You place your mate first. You love her just as much when her body reflects the effects of child bearing and age. You take seriously the words of Paul when he admonishes followers of Jesus to love their wives.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.  (Ephesians 5 – The Message)

Hugh Hefner is living the fantasy of many young men. I used to be one of them. But I do not envy him one bit. Because he will never understand what I have been blessed to experience. A wife who has loved me when I was unlovable. A wife who doesn’t care if I am rich or famous or powerful because that is not what she bases her love on. A relationship that has weathered storms together and emerged stronger. Joni’s strength and dignity during her cancer journey took my respect for her to a new level.

She is number one. There are no other contenders. And there never will be.