Comparison is poison to the soul. I either contrast myself to someone doing something better than me and feel downcast, or I measure myself to someone failing and feel better.

Perhaps that is my cue to refer to the Instruction Manual again. Paul writes about this very problem that was happening in the church at Corinth:

Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Writer Ann Voskamp notes that we try to measure how we are doing with imperfect—and even dangerous—measuring sticks:

Measuring sticks try to rank some people as big and some people as small—
but we aren’t sizes. We are souls. There are no better people or worse people—there are only God-made souls. There is no point trying to size people up, no point trying to compare—because souls defy measuring.

At the beginning of my book Waking Up Slowly I quoted Psalm 139, detailing how God uniquely wove together each of our individual DNA to create the one and only me and the one and only you. He knew us before we were formed, and He has ordained our days. Paul unpacks that even more in Ephesians:

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1:11-12 , The Message)

I am not an accident. I have a purpose in God’s plan. I have a role in God’s overall purpose. And I have a specific calling as a gift of grace. Being content with who you are really is a heart issue grounded in the truth of who you are according to Scripture.

How I wish that I could see myself as God sees me. Because of what Christ did on my behalf, God sees me as a saint. Forgiven. Valuable. Needed. What I often see is the same old failure who can’t dance, fix anything, or live consistently for God.

We see those smiling families and couples on social media and think they
are experiencing some alternate life that has eluded us. I’m sorry to break the news, but there are no perfect people or perfect families.

My fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling, I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created me with a desire to be in community
tells me that part of His plan is for me to be helped by other members of the body of Christ. But I think I am falling short by comparing myself to false images of people who are not being real.

Anne Lamott weighs in with her typical, unvarnished
honesty:

“Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides.”

Being broken, clingy, scared, and screwed up is spiritual soil prep for the seed of grace to grow.

I am not sure if writer John Mason had a biblical worldview in mind when he came up with the title for his book “You’re Born an Original, Don’t Die a Copy”, but he is theologically spot on. We are uniquely and completely designed for our roles in the body of Christ. Don’t try to imitate another part. The biggest danger to missing our lines in the production
called life is comparison. Relax and be you. No one compares
to you!

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly.