I am saddened, sickened, disturbed, and frightened at how the word hate is being hurled around in our national discourse. Red-faced politicians spew vitriol at those they disagree with. It can be an honest and complicated issue, but they reduce the debate to hating their opponents. Author James Baldwin made this insightful observation:

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”

Isn’t that the truth? It is so much easier to demonize than to understand. It is up to me and to you to change the discourse. The politician’s favorite tactic of justifying bad behavior with other bad behavior does not work with a holy God. Frankly, I am grateful He loves me too much to give me a pass on my blindness. Pastor Mark Mitchell is one of many people who has reflected on Rabbi Joseph Telushkin’s assessment of the power of words.


Rabbi Telushkin, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout this country on the powerful, often negative impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, another person. Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands, signifying “Yes.” Others laugh, and quite a few call out, “No!”
Telushkin responds, “Those who can’t answer ‘yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you can’t go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you’re addicted to alcohol. If you can’t go 24 hours without smoking, you’re addicted to nicotine. So if you can’t go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you’ve lost control over your tongue.”

Hate is a very serious word to use when talking about anyone, and especially another believer. As Christians, we simply do not have that option. Try to avoid these verses at your own peril.

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,
that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see,
how can we love God, whom we cannot see? (1 John 4:20)

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness.
(1 John 2:9)

Ouch. It’s very clear—and uncomfortable to hear—that I need to pray for those I disagree with in the faith community. But beyond that, I think we need to be extraordinarily prayerful about throwing the hate card at anyone.

Martin Luther King Jr. had some legitimate reasons to hate, but he chose not to. His words have not lost their power:

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Another courageous African-American, Booker T. Washington,
made a similar choice.

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

I know there are some people who are so evil that they seem unredeemable outside of a true miracle. But I have found that the majority of folks who disagree with me are generally decent people, when I take the time to hear their stories and get to know them. We hate people we don’t know and, without a doubt, that suspicious attitude prevents us from ever engaging with them.

I have decided to severely curtail my use of the word hate. I am making the choice to permit no man to degrade my soul by making me hate. And for the spiritual hall monitors, be aware that I am not going squishy on sin. There are actions, attitudes, and sins that I hate.

I have to remind myself that the actions that make me angry are the result of our fallen nature and sin. Hating people will not fix either of those issues. I can’t influence hearts by using inflammatory words. Words do matter. A lot.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly Book