Cancel used to be a fairly straight forward transaction. You canceled a reservation to dinner. Your flight was cancelled. Now cancel can mean your reputation and very career can be ruined if you offer an opinion that is controversial or unacceptable in the crazy court of social media. The normal sentence is shaming the person who dared offer some thought counter to the prevailing cultural trends. I understand pushing back against hateful stereotypes and name calling. That needs to be called out. But more and more this technique is being used to silence the heartfelt convictions of people who simply have a different world view.

Questioning a cultural trend now results in public shaming, bullying, and harassment.

I loathe the strategy of organized shaming to silence speech and cultural discourse. One of my personal hypocrisy tests is to examine my own propensity to “cancel” others that I don’t agree with. I might not launch an online attack but the reality is that refusing to entertain the viewpoints of others can effectively cancel them in your own heart.

Sadly the church was canceling before canceling was cool. I grew up being taught that if you did not hold a particular doctrine you were not a real Christian. You were “canceled” from fellowship. If you partook in activities that were not sanctioned by the denominational rulebook you were canceled. These rules often were not biblical. They were man made convictions that had nothing to do with the redemptive work of Jesus. For example, our church said we couldn’t go bowling because alcohol was served at the bowling alley. These kind of legalistic rules became as important to some in the church as actual Biblical teachings about forgiveness, serving one another, and loving your neighbor. The result of a “rules religion” is brilliantly summarized by Tim Keller in his book Prodigal God.

“We tend to draw conservative, buttoned-down, moralistic people. The licentious and liberated or the broken and marginal avoid church. That can only mean one thing. If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did.”

Our culture says you have to act correctly and you will be loved. Jesus said you are loved no matter what you have said or done. The culture says clean up your act and you will be forgiven. Jesus says you can be forgiven by simply accepting His gift of grace and redemption with no clean up required. It is one hundred percent His work on the Cross and nothing that you or I bring to the table.

A song by one of my favorite artists, Andrew Peterson, reminds me of the mystery of grace. Peterson beautifully illustrates that I am like every sinner who ever lived or will live. Peterson’s lyrics hit home and remind me that I am saved by grace alone. I was a sinner in need of a Savior. Andrew Peterson’s lyrics describe it well.

I am the woman at the well, I am the harlot
I am the scattered seed that fell along the path
I am the son who ran away
I am the bitter son who stayed

I am the angry men who came to stone the lover
I am the woman there ashamed before the crowd
I am the leper who gave thanks
I am the nine who never came

Paul tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I used to feel superior to those who violated my denomination’s “Top 10 list of things not to do if you are a real Christian”. But I came to realize that having less repulsive sins on my resume than someone else only mattered to my miserable band of legalists. I still fell short.

I have come to understand why legalism is so much easier than grace. Legalism allows me to assess the situation and then apply a verse or assign a task. If that person rejects that Biblical admonition or task then legalism allows me to withdraw because they are disobedient. Grace does not give me that option. Grace demands that I move toward the struggle of my brother or sister and not away in judgment. No wonder grace is a tough sell.

A quote by Pastor Paul Donnan says it far better than I ever could.

Grace doesn’t treat us better than we deserve. It treats us without the slightest reference to what we deserve. Grace ceases to be grace if God withdraws it upon any human failure. If Grace is in any way tied to something you do, then it is no longer a gift but a wage, and that’s not grace.

Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. That person is likely crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when wronged. Grace is kind and gentle.

Being graceful is a pain in the hind regions but it is what we are called to offer to others. Paul addresses this to the church at Colossae.

You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. (Colossians 2:20-23)

It is time for followers of Christ to quit canceling one another over issues that don’t mean squat to those who desperately need to hear the good news of the Gospel. Hurting souls don’t care about our denominational divides. They need Jesus. It is time to focus on the One who unites us instead of the things that divide us. We need to focus on becoming a light in this terrible darkness. There are so many hurting and sad people who want our message of hope in Christ to be true. Why would they examine our faith if the church can’t be united as followers of Jesus?

One more thought from Paul.

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. (Colossians 4:5-6)

Be kind to those who disagree and remember the words of author Alexander MacLaren. “Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

Don’t cancel others. Give grace. Forgive. Love one another. Be kind.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. (Ephesians 4:15, NLT)