Last week we moved out of the house that our family had called home for thirty years. We experienced a lot of love, laughter, and memories in that house. There was also a lot stuff. Tons and tons of stuff. My amazing wife Joni organized a multi-week campaign leading up to the move to decide what needed to be sold, donated, re-homed, or trashed. It was a daunting task.

Last Wednesday marked the final day of Operation Downsize as we finished cleanup at the old house and moved a few things to temporary housing. Several people from our church small group came to help us finish up. At our home church, Waterbrook Bible Fellowship, we call these groups “Home Teams”. We wrapped up some final packing and loaded a few fragile items into friend’s vehicles to be transported.

But one embarrassing problem remained. The trash overflowed the capacity of our trash container. The solution was surprising. Several of our friends volunteered to take a bag of trash home with them to dispose of.

Later Joni commented about the day. “Our Home Team is amazing. They even took our trash.”

My first thought was this was a very practical metaphor for what community should be. We all wish that we had people who would be willing to take on the “trash” in our lives willingly and without judgment. My friend John Lynch has a saying I have quoted so much I should pay him residuals.

““What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?”

Or to use our moving metaphor “what if there were a few people who knew I had more trash in my life than I could handle, but they were not disgusted or repelled but moved to take on that trash and help me get rid of it.”

That is a room of grace where there is no condemnation. Joni and I have been a part of three different small groups that were transformational. They all had the following characteristics.

1. Leave your politics on the porch. Most of us have strong convictions about political issues but these gatherings are about Jesus and how He relates to our journey together. Jesus spent zero time on politics except to tell the Pharisees to give Caesar his tax money.
2. Make your gathering a safe place. Nothing shuts down trust more that sharing private things without permission. We make a rule that nothing is shared outside of our meeting without permission. That includes the sneaky Christian way of gossiping by sharing “prayer requests” out of “concern” for others. Get permission. Building that trust will help amazing things to happen.
3. Learn each other’s stories. We make it a point to find out the life and spiritual journey each member of our group has taken. Hearing what a person has gone through in life will often change your heart attitude from judgment to deep admiration for their courage and resilience.

God knows that we need others to make it through this often difficult journey. Scripture is full of exhortations about caring for and loving one another. Here are a couple of my favorites.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25, NLT

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:13-15, NLT

This passage in 1st John summarizes the why for living in community and loving others. We do it because Jesus first loved, served, and sacrificed for us.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:9-11, NLT

All of us have excess trash in our lives. A lot of us are not quiet sure what to do with it. If we trust Jesus and others to help us with that trash you will find joy and liberty that you cannot imagine.