Most of life’s sentences are blissfully mundane. I can’t find my keys. Take out the garbage. Please feed the dog. I can’t find my keys. ADD readers will relate to that string of comments. But sometimes a single sentence will change your life. My bride of nearly thirty years dropped one of those sentences on me earlier this week.
“My spot was cancerous.”
After an optimistic initial briefing from the surgeon days earlier we were not prepared for the harsh reality of the pathology report. The breast cancer is still small but aggressive. The prognosis still optimistic but the journey will be hard. Yesterday I quoted that noted scholar and philosopher Mike Tyson who said, “Everyone has a game plan until they get hit in the mouth.” That was how I felt after talking and crying with my wife. We are looking at a year of treatment and trials. But God is good and His grace is truly sufficient. How can you explain how forty eight hours later we can have such confidence and peace?
Many of you read these ramblings at Crosswalk and I have become a regular peruser of that site. Just last week pastor and author John Piper wrote an amazing article at Crosswalk called “Don’t Waste Your Cancer.” Piper wrote the article on the eve of his own prostate surgery so he has a little “street cred” on the topic. I was blown away at his godly response to this fearsome foe. I never dreamed that I would be sharing that article with my wife just days later. Joni and I have adopted John’s spiritual battle plan right alongside our doctor’s medical strategy as we proceed to fight this giant. Here is just some of John Piper’s wisdom from that article.
You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.
You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).
You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.
You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.
You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.
Joni and I do not intend to waste this experience. When we prayed about her upcoming surgery my amazing wife dropped another sentence on me that was a life changer.
“Dear God…I am not and I will not question you.”
How can you not want to go into battle with a woman like that? Yesterday I told her that I wished I was going through this and not her. She said that she was glad it was her and not me. The miracle of the two becoming one is that we both meant what we said. Just about thirty years ago I proclaimed another life changing statement without really realizing the magnitude of the vow that I was making.
I take you Joni to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…
So it is my turn to step up to the plate and back up that vow. What a privilege to be there for her as she would be there for me. We value your prayers. For anyone who might stumble on this blog I would suggest one more life changing statement. This is a statement that I have experienced and can highly recommend for both the mountains and valleys of this journey.
Jesus…I want to know you personally.
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susan
what an inspiring blog! Just wanted to say that, as a “cancer returned” person, I so agree with the author. I found the years that I battled cancer were times of learning and getting closer to the Lord. I also was full of admiration for the caring and compassionate attitudes of the medical profession. One surgeon, for example, took the trouble to stop by my gurney after a biopsy and tell me he had found no malignancy (that was after my operation for malignant melanoma and during the endless tests that followed in the years after.)
Lots of prayers for Joni and family. Go on in faith, sister and brother in the Lord!
Derryck
Thanks for your bold, but sensitive honesty in the face of Joni’s cancer! You are the first public, Christian figure that I’ve come across who is willing to state what I learned in losing my first wife to cancer. First, she said many times that her cancer was the greatest gift (short of salvation) that God had ever given her, primarily because of the intimacy she experienced with the Father throughout her ordeal. Second, that a God who simply “allows” questionable circumstances into his kids’ lives is passive and random. My wife and I chose to accept that if her cancer was a gift from God, then he PURPOSED the cancer. That cuts across the grain of “churchianity’s” feel-good concept of God, but a deliberate, intentional, initiating God is far more real, dependable, and comforting than the one we evangelicals have created out of the felt need to keep God safe and predictable.
Karina Black
I can’t imagine hearing those words coming from someone I love again.
SO glad to get to read this after the fact and know she’s doing alright!!!
Alex
My Brother passed away 1n nov 1999 of cancer. He had a friend who one day was having a real bad day with work, money, family…
My Brother just stared at him with a look and said
" You need some cancer " with that statement his friend was over come with a peace that set all thoes problems at ease. Our family has never forgoten that statment it has put me back on track many many times just as your statement has.
Be at peace in you do.
Alex
Dwayne & Glenda Crump
Dave,
You, Joni and your family are in our prayers. You are great person and we wish you only the best.
Leah
Dear Dave and Joni,
Isn’t the Body of Christ amazing? I read your post and all the loving notes of encouragement on the page. It is true when one limb of the body hurts the whole body hurts. There are many hurting with you now. Thank you for your transparency and openness.
Joni, I’d like to recommend the books by Dr. Bernie Siegal- "Love, Medicine and Miracles" and "Peace, Love and Healing." He is a cancer surgeon and has made his ministry that to discover why the small percentage of patients with what should be "terminal" diagnoses do NOT die- in spite of the lab tests and docs reports. His recommendations can be life enrichers and life savers as one goes through the "process" of treatment and healing.
I hope you read this and reach out for his resources.
May God bless you and continue to use you both as his mighty instruments.
Shalom from a sister in Christ in Norway
Leah
Kathy
It was a blessing to read your post with John’s comments. Having just walked that road this last year — diagnosis of Stage 3 colon cancer in the midst of a busy life–I have found great comfort and great encouragement from John Piper’s words and outlook. I will not waste my journey with this, either! Blessings to you and your wife–she is, as I am, blessed with a godly man with whom to walk this way, this exciting path of ups and downs, always content knowing that Jesus holds us in the gentle safety of His hand where no harm will come to us. Blessings. Kathy N.
Dave Rowe
Good morning Dave,
WOW, what a witness!!!
Obviously, Joni’s cancer and your faith is touching people’s lives in some special ways!
As I read the responses to you and Joni from people that we both work with I thought WOW, God can use the worst things in some incredible ways to touch people.
It goes without saying that Faith and I will keep you both in our prayers. I will also place your name on our "Walk to Emmaus" prayer list.
Have faith that God has you both right where he wants you, in the palm of his hand.
And it’s easy to say, but hard to do, 1 Peter 5:7 your worries…
A brother in Christ!
Dave & Faith Rowe
Burlee Richardson, Jr.
God is the God of the impossible and I pray that you and your wife will experience His hand at work in your situation. Debbie and I join you in your faith and we know that God will give you the strength and courage to endure. Blessings to you and yours.
Bridgette
Once again you take what could be a downer and use it to turn our eyes on Jesus. Prayers will go with you both through this. I’m glad you know you are not alone.
please let us know if there is anything in addition to prayers that you need.
Wayne Barry
Your family is in my prayers as you start this new chapter in your lives.
I have not met Joni but I know she is a strong woman having put up with your jokes for 30 years.
You two could not have better partners to fight this battle.
God bless,
Wayne
Bubba Dean
Dave and Joni,
You will both be in our prayers constantly. Our love, thoughts, and prayers go out to you and Joni.
Stay strong,
Bubba Dean
Carol Van Norman Limon
Dave and Joni,
I am sad to hear of your diagnosis. I know how it affects everyone in the family. Knowing ya’ll for so many years, I am certain that you will make it through this with grace. Powerlessness is powerful and humbling; it will bring us all to our knees. It is amazing how one can learn not to sweat the small stuff.
I love you both,
Carol
Mark Marsden
Dave
I’m sorry to hear about Joni and I thought of this verse:
EPH 1:4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world
You’re both chosen which is great.
Thanks for all your sharing.
Mark.
Randy Hayden
My mom just passed away last Friday–that damned cancer. It took her quickly and mercifully. It was a blessing knowing my mom was a Christian and that she had such great confidence in her salvation. But the real blessing for me came after the inevitable. Friends, family and brief acquaintances sent food, lifted up prayers and made calls of encouragement and support. It humbled me. I hope to pass on these learned lessons of love, faith and eternal confidence. I know you and Joni will, with His help, overcome this and be a continueing inspiration for people like me. My prayers are with you…rlh
kevin "tex" fay
Dave,
Ellen(Ellie May) and I will devote our daily rosary to your family. With good doctors, your bad jokes and God in your corner, we know the Burchetts will get through this test…..
John Howard
Dave, know that our thoughts and prayers are with you, Joni and your family. Your lives have been forever changed. Use this opportunity to love each other like you never have before.
Wishing you courage, strength and love,
John and Mira Howard
Jody
Dave,
I will keep your family in my prayers. I am blessed to know that you allowed yourself time with your wife to grieve, but to then place your hope in God. Those are two actions I hope I will have the courage to follow through with should I face these circumstances.
Brenda Coleman
Dave,
My prayers will be with Joni & you as you make this journey together. You are one of the strongest Christians I know & God has a plan for the both of you. I want to share with you some words from my sister-in-law who was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer almost 2 years ago this Easter. She has since undergone numerous rounds of chemo & was diagnosed last April with liver cancer as well.
She shares, "I have an incredible peace. I really can’t describe what is going on in me. I know the Lord’s presense in a way I have not experienced in many years, if ever. I am not afraid. I am going to fight for as long as I can, but I am in my Father’s hands. I will not leave this earth one moment earlier than He wants or allows."
Please share Wendy’s words with Joni. She is not alone in this. Joni will added to my prayer list & to my family’s prayer lists as well.
Darryl & I love you both.
Bill Evans
Dave,
My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Stay strong!
Bill
Eric Norberg
Dave,
Sorry to hear the news. No one should have to go through the trip ahead for Joni and you.
Thanks for walking the walk in the midst of us faithtalkers.
Will pray for Joni, you and the boys (men now I guess)
Eric.
Doc Walker
Dave,
Please give Joni my very best. My Mother was diagnosised with breast cancer back in 1981. It makes you embrace life to the fullest She’s 72 and strong as ever, Prayer is the key. Joni’s lucky to have a stud like you for support! both of you will be in our prayers We will win this battle!
Doc
RevWLJ
I grieve with you over your wife’s diagnosis. I am glad that you are finding strength in God, the Almighty, and that you are staying close by His side. I agree–don’t waste the cancer, but not for the same reasons that John Piper gives. God’s ultimate desire and pleasure for us is that we have faith in Him, which by my understanding equals reliance on God in every situation. That is how He achieves His will through the adversities that come our way (Rom. 8:28). When we, by faith, trust God through the adversity, He is able to work good out of any negative situation. I do not believe that God brings adversity upon us, unless you count the consequences of our own sins through the principle of reaping what you sow. God only gives His children good gifts. Cancer is a result of sin’s effect on our natural world, thanks to Adam and Eve. Cancer, hurricaines, hunger, and poverty wouldn’t exist if there had been no Original Sin. And because these events are the direct result of A & E’s free choice, God choses not to stop them, just as He doesn’t keep us from the consequences of our free choices. If cancer was a gift from God, than why fight it, why wish or pray for healing? Though it was not a part of God’s intentional will, certainly He anticipated Original Sin, and has been guiding us eversince through the labrinyth of life’s circumstances and our bad choices, that His ulitmate will might be accomplished. I am praying for healing for your wife, and that you and your wife might be stronger in your faith, better witnesses for Him, able to comfort those in similar situations, and that God will recieve the glory because of your faithfulness.
Cheryl
I am so sorry to hear this news.
My closest friend had a similar set of circumstances. She got good news initially, experienced such relief, and then the pathology report was devastating. She went for an immediate double mastectomy, had radiation and chemotherapy treatments and was assured that she was cancer free. She opted for reconstruction right away. I am happy to tell you that she got along so well and had a great attitude through it all, AND she looks more beautiful than ever!
I am believing Joni will have a happy outcome too!
Edge
I’ll pray for your (yours and Joni’s) strength, physically and spiritually. I’ll pray for all of the people who’s lives will be touched and changed forever through this experience.
Patricia
I am sorry to hear about what your wife will have to go through with her cancer, but I am glad that you and Joni are keeping a positive attitude and are wholly relying on God through this ordeal. I wish I could do that too in my problems, but I don’t know yet how to do it effectively.