My Mom died this weekend. There is the sadness of loss that is tempered with the joy of seeing her relationship with the Lord Jesus in her final months. The last year of my Mom’s life caused me to think of Al Michael’s famous question from the 1980 Olympics. “Do you believe in miracles?”
I do believe in miracles. I have seen one.
I loved my Mom but our relationship was challenging. She was raised in a family where love was not expressed. She could be very negative and her comments had stung me over the years. I knew that she loved me fiercely but I will admit that I grieved for a more gracious expression of her love. My Mom could be really difficult.
As her health declined I prayed that her relationship with God would be clear to her and to her family. Last summer I journeyed to Ohio to visit her. A group of Christian friends in Texas told me they would pray that I could discuss salvation with my Mom. I thanked them for their concern but in my heart I felt they were naive. They did not know my Mom.
Fast forward a few days as I am sitting with my Mom. The conversation is mundane. Out of nowhere she dropped this bombshell.
“How can you be sure that you are going to heaven?”
You could have knocked me over with a feather and I immediately thought of those saints in Texas praying for exactly this moment. And I felt a bit of shame because I was the naive one who doubted the power of prayer. I shared the gospel with my Mom. She assured me that she had trusted Christ as her Savior. The next question was nearly as surprising.
“What if you trusted Christ but haven’t lived it?”
Wow. What do you say to that? I chose to tell her the truth. That she was a child of God but she had forfeited a lot of joy by not walking more faithfully with Him. She had likely missed chances to serve and probably many blessings the Lord had desired her to experience. Still, there was a nagging question in my mind that I lacked the courage to address. I knew there were people who had hurt my Mom deeply and she showed no signs of forgiveness. I was fairly certain she would take that bitter anger to her grave.
But Mom took those comments about living for Jesus to heart. She chose to try to live for Him with the rest of her days. She told my niece that she had prayed more in the last year than she had in her whole life. She regularly asked me to pray for her and told me she was praying for me and especially for Joni as my bride battled breast cancer.
My Mom began to regularly tell me she loved me. That was something you didn’t say in her family. You were just supposed to know it. A few weeks ago she told me she was sorry if she had hurt me with her words or actions. That was the first time I had heard those words from my Mom in 53 years. It was a powerful moment of grace and reconciliation between us. When I saw her last week she kissed me and said, “you don’t know how much you mean to me.” But she was wrong. I finally did.
But the real miracle happened in her last days. My niece asked Mom about a woman she had felt so much bitterness and hatred toward. When I was told about her response the words sent chills through me.
“Oh honey. That was in the past. I have forgiven her.”
What irony that I have been writing about forgiveness and my Mom gave me a miracle of forgiveness as her final gift. Forgiveness can happen. It is never too late. For those who think they cannot forgive I will tell you that with God it is possible. I have witnessed a miracle to start the New Year. I am saddened that my Mom is gone but I am rejoicing in her victory. She was able to lay her burdens at the foot of the Cross and pass unencumbered into the presence of the Lord. I praise God that I have not lost my Mom. Nope. Now I know exactly where she is.
David
I’ve been reading your past blog postings since I discovered you through Crosswalk about a month ago (I figured I wanted to get the full background before I could go further). I hope to catch up soon, but in the meantime this post really meant a lot to me. My mother-in-law is spiritually similar to the way your mother was. I have got to the point that I stopped praying for her salvation because I’m sure it will never happen. Your post inspires me to “pray continuously” about my mother-in-law and to not let my own shortsightedness limit God’s power. Thank you.
eleanor hoyte
Thanks for sharing about your relationship with your Mom and how she made it to the end.
You have blessed me by your insight into the nature of forgiveness, and I can say, too, yes it’s all in the past.
Thank you eleanor Hoyte <ewhoyte2@tstt.net.tt>
gchyayles
I’m sorry about the physical loss of your mother but I am rejoicing about the spiritual gain that has come about in the last few months. My family (parents and sisters) is not saved and I too go through moments of ‘it will never happen’ type-feelings. Your story was a blessing and a reminder that, like you said, anything with God is possible. Blessings to you.
Sue
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been praying for you and your family that God will cover you, surround you, envelope you with His incredible comfort. Peace.
Mark Marsden
Dave
Sorry to hear your Mum has died. I nearly said "you had lost your Mum" but it sounds very much like you found each other and now we know she is with Jesus.
It’s a good reminder to be soft towards my Mum after my parents split up. And there are often hidden reasons as to why people are as they are.
Mark.
"Tina Comstock
Oh, thank you so much for this post. Just last night I was talking to a friend about the difficult and strained (at best) relationship I have with my parents. To have a good conversation with them seems improbable, if not impossible. They both are in church, and love Jesus, but haven’t quite figured out how to communicate that love through to thier children, though we may be grown, we still need to hear it, . . . as I’m sure you know. Thank you for this post. It gives me hope, that someday my relationship with my parents will be renewed.
Joyce Lindsey
It seems everytime I read something from you I am blessed. You have answered yet another question of mine. "What if you trusted Christ but haven’t lived it?" My husband was killed in action in September 2006. He was saved in high school, then went into the military. He attended church once in a while, but really did not live a christian life. He could quote scripture, knew the bible stories by heart. This was a result of being forced to go to church twice a week most of his life. I envied his knowledge. After joining the military, he found it difficult to attend church due to his upbringing. He was deployed to Afganistan in June 2006 and was issued a new testiment bible. His personal effects were returned to me and among the items on his body was this bible. I was amazed and relieved to see that it was worn and well read. Since I know the military only issues new bibles to the soldiers, I knew in my heart that my husband had made his peace with God and found his way home. As a result of this I have rededicated my life to God and am back in church. I am sorry for your loss and thankfull for your blessing. I too have not lost my husband and I know exactly where he is. God bless
Teri
What a blessing for you to reconcile with your Mom and improve your relationship before she passed. I am glad that you can see God’s hand in it and the power of prayer. Thank you for sharing your personal story.
Kathy :-)
I’m sorry about your mom. Thanks for being transparent with your relationship; it gives me hope. My prayers continue in your loss.
Jan
Thanks for sharing.
Cheryl
Please accept my sincere condolences.
Patricia
I am sorry to hear about your mom’s passing, but glad that your mom is spiritually alive in God’s hands. I am also glad that you had the chance to be reconciled to your mom.