I am digitally ducking as I post this week’s musing. This is the kind of the title that brings the spiritual hall monitors out of the internet woodwork. But it is true. God used the insightful lyrics of Harry Chapin to get my attention about my selfishness. Chapin was a genius in poetically describing how we try to find happiness in the wrong places and with self-centered priorities. The first song to meddle in my life was W*O*L*D. I was an aspiring radio “personality” at a small station in Southern Ohio dreaming of being a big city star someday. The lyrics describe a conversation with the wife he left behind to pursue his dreams. He recounts how he moved from market to market trying to find happiness. Now he realizes what he has sacrificed and hopes to reconcile with his family. Chapin writes a powerful truth about running from the problems in our life.

Sometimes I get this crazy dream
That I just take off in my car
But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still stay where you are.

The darkness and sadness in our hearts is not healed by relocation, new jobs or new possessions. In my experience that only comes from the healing forgiveness of Christ. I looked around and saw that there was a lot of truth in these lyrics. I honestly began to rethink my career path because of this song. I got into the sports business and television production. I married the beautiful Joni, we settled in Southern California and we started a family. I had not traveled ten thousand miles but unfortunately I had stayed right where I was in the pursuit of success and affirmation. Enter another Harry Chapin song.

To this day I still feel regret when I hear “The Cats in the Cradle”. The lyrics make me think of missed moments as I had pursued my career. I thought of too many times when Joni had to go it alone as I traveled the country doing my television thing. After many years I recognized that she was at a breaking point in our relationship. I remember my eyes tearing up as I listened to these lyrics that were likely foretelling my future.

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say, “I’m gonna be like you, dad
You know I’m gonna be like you.”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when
But we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then.”

It broke my heart to recognize that too often that was me and I began to change. By the grace of God my relationships with my wife and boys were redeemed. Joni and I have celebrated four decades together and I am enjoying my wonderful sons and who they have become. I am grateful that God got my attention. To be sure my recognition of the need to change was more than a couple of Harry Chapin songs. But the Holy Spirit pierced my heart with the insightful lyrics of this amazing artist.

Now I am a grandfather who has learned his lesson. I try to never be too busy for those sweet souls. Recently I was at the Perot Museum with grandson Ethan. I watched as he experienced the activities of a children’s play area. I looked around at the parents. I am not exaggerating when I report that 90% of them were staring at phones. Some glanced up occasionally to check on their child. Some did not even do that. I watched as children looked at their distracted parents and tried to get their affirmation. And this song came back to me again.

I prayed that these parents would have an epiphany before it was too late. The most haunting lyric in Chapin’s song is when the dad tries to get his grown up son to come and visit. He tells his dad that he is too busy but they will get together soon. This stanza devastated me years ago.

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

I learned a hard lesson before it was too late. Jesus talked a lot about priorities. In a familiar passage in Luke Jesus talks about not worrying so much about the things of the world but to store up your treasures in Heaven. I like the fresh take in The Message on a well known verse.

It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. (Luke 12:34)

If the place you most want to be is not with your Lord and your loved ones you might want to rethink your priorities. It is never too late in God’s amazing grace.

 

My new book, Waking Up Slowly, addresses how we can be more connected to God, ourselves and one another. Release date is March 7th and is available for pre-order now!