This week marked a couple of rites of spring. The reporting of pitchers and catchers to spring training and the arrival of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. For me one is a “right” of spring and the other is becoming a “wrong”. I was on the road when the swimsuit issue arrived at my home. The lovely Mrs.Burchett led me into a marital minefield with this simple statement.
“Your swimsuit issue arrived today.” She waited.
Work brain, work! Must step carefully. Following the lead of Nehemiah I “prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered”.
My response was simple.
“Throw it away.”
Joni thought she had (to quote Roger Clemens) “misheard”.
“What?”
“Throw it away. I don’t need to see that.”
I think I surprised the Missus. This has been a process for me. I have gone over the years from eagerly anticipating the SI issue to guiltily perusing it to quickly flipping through the magazine and then tossing it. This year I never even saw the issue. Next year I plan to make Al Gore happy by opting out of the swimsuit issue and not forcing a tree to die for such a meaningless cause. Why the change? Cynics will say that I am just getting old. I hope it is a little more than that.
Those unfortunate enough to know me well would hardly describe me as an uptight prude. I am a television sports director so I am all too well aware of “progressive” attitudes toward sexual issues. I am never surprised by inappropriate comments or images in my work world. Today’s thoughts are addressed to my fellow followers of Jesus. I have recently been focusing on my identity in Christ. I believe that my very spiritual DNA was rewritten when I trusted Jesus for my salvation. With that decision I changed. My behavior needs to reflect that change. Paul addressed these words to the church at Ephesus.
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. (Ephesians 5, NLT)
Several years ago my reaction would have been something like this. “Come on, it is just a bunch of skimpy swimsuits. Lighten up.” Alcoholics cannot sometimes have a drink. They must avoid it because they have a drinking problem. Most men have a lust problem. Can we sometimes indulge sexy images and be spiritually healthy? For me the answer is clear. Lust is mostly visual. Lustful images are almost impossible to delete from the mental hard drive. Images can lead to fantasy that can lead to really bad decisions. Paul had a simple solution. Run.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. (I Corinthians 6, NLT)
Many years ago I was a regular reader of a men’s magazine famous for foldouts so I am not speaking out of “self-righteous” ignorance. I know why men read such magazines. Incredibly, it is not for the articles! Any man who tries to rationalize that is disingenous at best and a liar at worst. Christian men should have no part of such magazines or websites. I am stunned by men who make threatening comments to young men that come to date their daughters and then go out and ogle and lust after the daughters of others. In New Man Magazine author Matthew Paul Turner writes that “pornography alters your view of humanity by objectifying people. And, it’s almost impossible for a porn habit “not to affect the relationships you hold most dear.”
That is truth. You can believe it now or find out, to your dismay, later.
I work in a secular and testosterone driven world. There may be a small percentage of men who can view these types of magazines or websites and not lust. I have not met any of them yet. If you are that man would you join me for lunch (and bring along a lie detector)?
Robert
Hey, these comments have helped me almost as much as the article itself. I have been struggling with questions about sexuality and the degrees of lust for a long time now. I am 15, and stillll confused, but this article and many responses helped me a lot. I am already 100% sure in my sexuality, but cannot rely on my ability to discern between amazement at the beauty of the body and lust. One day i hope to be as strong in my temperance as you.
Gracias,
rob
Don KImrey
Sir: I read all the way down here through a bunch of responses to tell you: You think straight and write extremely well! Let’s pray for each other! -dk
Christopher Dawson
Good afternoon, Mr. Burchett. I am so glad to read your comments on the infamous “Swimsuit Edition”. I agree 100% with your thoughts and comments, and actually, I take the same attitude when it comes to dealing with lust. I’ve read of the problems and issues that are created in the lives of men who leave this sin undealt with, and I definitely don’t want any of those problems, and by God’s grace, I am taking the problem head on. (Read some books that helped by authors Steve Arterburn, Joshua Harris).
I kind of dealt with the same thing when I went home this past weekend. (BTW, I’m a 21 year old black student in college at Mississippi State University, unmarried). Like you, there was a time when I’d pretty much indulge in the visual and subsequently, mental “happy times” that those types of images provided. Of course, the lust of the eyes is what is strongest, so as a tactic to battle this problem (and increase a hatred towards it), I immediately turn my eyes AND head, and sometimes remind myself of the Scripture you provided from Ephesians, mentally or verbally, and God’s thoughts of sin. I do this no matter where I’m at, because I seriously doubt that any Christian man can show “strength” or “maturity” by looking at one and saying, “It doesn’t bother me.” Which is true in a sense, because, to any man’s natural mind, of course those images don’t bother him. We both know what it does, as you’ve mentioned in the post. Surprisingly enough, my parents, who I believe to be Christian, kind of took the “lighten up” rhetoric when they saw my actions. “Didn’t the God you serve give you power?” “Ain’t you stronger than that?” and other such ambiguous statements, when my strength or even ability to resist sin is not even the issue. Even more surprising, my dad, who claims to be a minister, looks at the magazine, and says, it doesn’t bother him. I have to admit, I didn’t believe him when he said it, simply because of the nature of the magazine, and as you said, any man that tries to rationalize is disingenous at best and a liar at worst. I didn’t say anything, didn’t want to be disrespectful. But I wholeheartedly agree, again, that no matter how “strong” I may think I am, there’s no need to “test” that by deliberately subjecting myself to that type of temptation. Forgive me for the long post, I was just really confused about my parents’ response to my actions of, essentially, fleeing sexual sin. I’m glad to know that you, more likely, a more Christian than I am, knows what the real issue is, and deals with it, thank God, in somewhat the same manner how I (a toddler Christian) would.
In Christ,
Chris
Ruth
Hi, Dave.
This article came to me through Crosswalk News & Commentary, and I am so glad to see it.
I can’t adequately describe to you how painful this problem is to watch, getting worse and worse pulling someone further and further away from reality, even. It is very difficult as a caring, responsive wife to feel that horrible, gnawing gut feeling that something is very wrong…and then find out that “boys will be boys” has grown to an addiction that has drawn him into activities he should never do and is more important than a kid’s birthday…
Your article gently touches on the truth as I learned it after reading a lot to be able to understand. What drew me here to your blog, though, was seeing your book titles: “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People” and “Bring ‘Em Back Alive: A Healing Plan for Those Wounded By The Church” . How do I say that the men of the church being in so much denial to the destructiveness of this sin is a big part of what has been driving me away from church?
Thank You so much for saying what you’ve said so well. May God really bless your words and the minds of those Christians who are reading them.
Teresa
Mr. Burchett,
I am a regular reader of your ramblings. I enjoy the Christian message, sometimes challenging my way of thinking a tad, but that is probably a good thing. Much to my own dismay, I have to admit, it is your sarcasm that keeps me coming back. I appreciate the smile it often brings in my sometimes dooldrum days as a stay at home mom. My husband enjoys the ones I forward, often leading to interesting discussions between us. He readily admits his own struggle in this area. Honestly I just don’t get it, but just another example of how we are all wired differently. It is a tough old world for men with this strruggle as temptation seems to be everywhere. Thanks for bringing it to the forefront. I have never met the lovely Mrs. Burchett, but it seems we might have something in common, great thankfulness for the wonderful husband/father the Lord has sent our ways. Thanks again for the article and your honesty in regards to your own issues in this area. Keep standing firm in those issues that really matter
Signed,
appreciative in Iowa
T
Great to see a Christian man speak directly of this: thanks Dave. Not only does one sin against God by indulging in lust, but that person also sins against – and dishonor s – their wife and partner in their marriage. Anything that causes you to disrespect your marriage is a good thing to depart from.