A recent behavioral study reinforced something I have emphasized in my own journey. The power of simply reaching out and checking in with others is stunningly underrated as a way to love one another.

An article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology detailed how people react when others reach out to them. The authors seemed a bit surprised by their results.

We kept finding that people underestimated how much their reach-outs were appreciated. We also found that one reason this underestimation of appreciation occurs is that people do not think enough about how positively surprised others feel upon being reached out to. The role of surprise is important. We found that the one situation in which people do not underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out is when the reach-out occurs in an unsurprising context. For example, if someone is expecting you to reach-out to them, then you are pretty well calibrated to how much they will actually appreciate you reaching out to them. Thus, it’s really these unexpected reach-outs that people appreciate much more than we expect.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, July 2022, American Psychological Association (APA)

The pandemic made this simple gesture even more critical for our emotional and spiritual health. Relationships suffered as isolation became the sad new normal. Friends parted over disagreements about proper Covid protocol and politics. I have seen long time relationships shattered over these issues.

When I realize how frustrated I get over selfish and immature behavior by believers it magnifies the incomprehensible amount of grace and patience that God grants us every single day. He never gives up on His Children.

I saw people who had been loved and nurtured in a church community for years leave over mask disputes. Are you kidding me? Maybe reading, rereading, and then rereading one more time these words from Paul would be a starting point before leaving a community of believers over politics.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! (Romans 12:9-16, NLT)

So how can we be a light in this increasingly damaged and dark culture? I rarely use Diana Ross lyrics as a spiritual behavior launching point but these words are powerful and needed.

Reach out and touch
Somebody’s hand
Make this world a better place
If you can
(Just try)
Take a little time out of your busy day
To give encouragement

I have made it a priority when someone comes to mind to let them know I am thinking about them. I reach out to them by texting or calling to let them know they are on my heart and I am praying for them. I have realized as a Christian that people coming to mind is usually not random. They are planted in my heart by the Spirit. It is remarkable how many times that person will respond with a comment like this.

“Wow. I can’t believe you reached out at this moment. I really needed that encouragement right now.”

I makes me wonder how many of those moments I have missed when I was all wrapped up in me. When someone comes to mind consider it a potentially sacred moment to encourage that person.

When someone comes to mind let them know. Encourage them. Reach out with a word of affirmation and a promise of prayer. The other thing I am realizing more and more is that followers of Jesus have something that is in desperately short supply in this culture. I have a lot of friends who don’t share my faith who are kind. Many are loving (at least to those they agree with).

But there is one word that seems to be missing for most of my friends who don’t have faith in God.

Hope.

Why is that word so important? Just a few reasons why.

Washington D.C. is a train wreck? I will do my part to be a concerned citizen but my hope is in God for my future.

Our country is increasingly more dangerous? I will be smart but my hope is in God for my protection.

The economy is volatile? My hope is in my God who always provides.

Concerned about the cultural influences on family and friends? My hope is in God to help me create an environment of grace, truth, and love that will encourage honest conversations about the things that truly matter.

I have great hope as I write this and I want to share that hope with others.

Let’s review the 2 easy ways to be a light.

1. Reach out and let others know you care.
2. Share the hope that you have in Christ.

You don’t have to be a theologian or a brilliant apologist to do those two simple things. You just have to care about and love others.