I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

Without forgiveness,
Life’s a long and empty road.
Without forgiveness,
We’d give up and just let go.

I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

Oh we never want to hurt each other,
That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

Forgiveness.

Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

And I hate to think what might become of me and you
Without forgiveness

There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained hill on a Friday afternoon long ago. 

People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
Without forgiveness

That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. 

I imagine the heart of Jesus is saddened by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness as the primary power to help us forgive others.

There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

When you break those chains of fear and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because we decide our offender does not deserve it. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

“Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You may not get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Paul reminds us that we have a powerful reason to be forgiving.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

We have been forgiven. We did not deserve that gift. Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.