(To honor my sweet girl Maggie’s memory I am posting a chapter from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. I hope you enjoy my canine mentorship!)

Chapter 19 – Gently Leading

Today Maggie took me out for a drag. I would prefer that her idea of a walk would more closely resemble mine, so we have some work to do. I either need to find a way to train her not to pull me around the neighborhood or rescue ten more Labs just like her and enter the Iditarod dog sled race. I don’t particularly care for freezing to death, so I think I will work on training Maggie to walk instead of pull.

Maggie has definitely made progress learning her commands, but I knew that she needed some extra help on the walking front. A tip from our trainer led us to a device called the Gentle Leader. He demonstrated how it works and we were sold. It’s a harness that fits over the dog’s head and snout but it isn’t as restrictive as a muzzle can be; Maggie is free to sniff, drink, and explore without restriction. After getting fitted at the store, we went home and gave our new device a try. It was, in a word, amazing.

Maggie made a couple of attempts to take control, but with a small tug I let her know that I was the leader and she complied without a struggle. I had learned that many dogs instinctively pull on a traditional leash or shoulder harness. Maggie had great instincts on that front. With the new harness I can easily and gently redirect her. It was like someone snuck in the house and swapped a new dog for Maggie.

I reflected on the remarkable difference later that day. Before I found this solution, Maggie fought for control, a force I struggled to contain. With the Gentle Leader she quickly submitted to me being the leader of our little pack. She was more relaxed, happier, and a lot more fun to be with on our daily journey.

Of course, there was a lesson in this for me, too. God’s sense of timing of these little lessons can be amusing or irritating to me. This time it was irritating. I had been in a period of fighting for control in my own journey with Jesus. Sure, I wanted to walk with Him. Yet in my heart I reserved the right to pull, divert, and take control when I felt insecure that God was really in control and questioning if He understood what I was going through. That admission looks worse in print than it sounded in my mind.

Jesus talks about how we limit our ability to have peace when we don’t allow Him to provide us with strength. He didn’t mention a harness, but a yoke, and that His yoke is “easy.”

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

We don’t have to ride the roller coaster of life more than a couple of times to know that this journey is not “easy.” I thought about losses I have suffered in my life and some of the struggles that I am dealing with today. I was puzzled. What did Jesus mean by that statement, “My yoke is easy”? Clearly, the burdens of life are heavy. There is nothing easy about heartache, pain, and loss.

I reread Jesus’ inviting words: “Come to me.” No one needs to go through life’s difficulties alone, but the truth is that Jesus will not force Himself on you. You have permission to come to Jesus whenever you are ready.

In Jesus’ day, oxen were harnessed together with a wooden yoke, a beam that fit over the animals’ shoulders to keep them moving together in one direction. The oxen shared the effort to accomplish the task. That idea fit quite well into my performance-driven faith. Of course Jesus is with me, but I decided that I had to pull my weight. The only problem with my view was that it was unbiblical and even dangerous.

In this passage Jesus is not speaking of physical burdens. The truth is that Jesus was talking about the yoke of the Torah, the yoke of the law of Moses, which his Jewish listeners would have known well. The Old Testament yoke represented submission to authority. The Jews knew that the law was impossible to keep, but they kept trying. Jesus was offering them His yoke of grace. Compared to the impossible standards of the Pharisees and the law, His way was easy. Agreed.

Jesus makes another important offer. “Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart.”

For years, I strained to pull my weight by dogged (pardon the pun) effort, while Jesus quietly offered a better way. I don’t have to figure this out to be loved by Jesus. I just need to be available.

“Let me teach you.”

I wore myself out trying to do more to please Him, even as He whispered, “I am humble and gentle at heart. Your trust and faith pleases Me, not your joyless self-efforts to be better.”

Members of that agrarian culture of Jesus’ time would have known that you train a young ox by pairing it with an experienced ox. The mature ox would carry the bulk of the burden as the younger one walked by its side and learned. Author Jim Botts relayed the strategy of a wise farmer.

Well you see, it’s like this. That older ox is the best ox that I have ever had; he knows his way around the field. The reason I put the younger one with him is so the older, more knowledgeable ox could teach him how to plow. If I never put them together the younger one would never learn. By himself the younger ox would pull himself to death, but together he learns to cooperate with and rest in the strength of the older ox.

That is a beautiful image. Jesus walking alongside me, but carrying the bulk of the burden (if not all of it) as I learn from Him. I don’t need to strain myself in an attempt to shoulder everything on my own; Jesus wants me to be willing to gently submit to His strength and not rely solely on mine. He is extending an offer to those who are exhausted, emotionally drained, and buckling under what life brings. Pain and loss are a given in this life, but it is comforting to know that I can find rest for my weary soul, even as I grieve and doubt and waver. When I am exhausted, I can take time and seek respite in Him.

Too many faith communities have gotten this wrong. Pastor Tullian Tchividjian summarizes the struggle powerfully. “Jesus didn’t say, ‘Come to me all who are weary and I will give you a to-do list to keep me loving you.’ He said ‘I will give you rest.’”Jesus never intended for us to carry around long to-do lists. As we struggle mightily to try to earn what we already have, He must look upon us sorrowfully, knowing how much He can help.

“My yoke is easy.” Yokes were custom fitted to each individual ox. If the fit was incorrect, the yoke would rub and hurt the ox making the animal reluctant to keep going. If the yoke was perfectly fitted, it was easy for the ox to endure. A master carpenter would find the right ratio of strength and weight, whittling the yoke down to do its job, which meant the ox was able to work longer without tiring. The same is true for all of you, Jesus says. I will “fit” each one of you perfectly with the yoke that you can bear and no more.

When I finally stopped trying to do all the work in order to feel accepted by Christ, no longer restrained by the harness of legalism and relaxed in the “gentle leading” of grace, I was free to be fully alive in Christ.

Jesus wants you to don His yoke. Trust Him. Have faith. He has done the heavy lifting already. Rest in Him.  Learn how to be humble and gentle in spirit. Quit trying so dadgum (that may not be in the Greek) hard and serve out of grateful love. Jesus tells us when we believe those truths, our burdens are light. The walk with Him is easy and natural.

I think of that as I watch Maggie romp excitedly around the house after seeing me get my walking shoes and headset. She is eager and joyful on our morning walks now that she knows I am going to lead.

She can relax and take in everything around her because she realizes that she doesn’t need to be in control. Point taken. Thanks girl.