Author Anne Rice has kicked the cyber hornet’s nest with her comments about “quitting” Christianity. Anne and I don’t have a lot in common. She has millions of readers. I have tens of readers. Her books are best sellers. My second book apparently is harder to find than a popular Congressperson. But we share one big thing in common. I also thought about “quitting” the organized version of Christianity that we call church. I SERIOUSLY considered doing a home study on Sundays instead of dragging myself to the local assembly. I was convinced that Starbucks was a much more spiritual environment than a church. My spiritual crisis would not have made any headlines. Having had that personal journey through the desert I am now inclined to pray that Anne Rice will find a community of believers who will walk with her in grace and truth and not condemn her.
My friend Ed Underwood has a problem with stating his mind. He recently wrote about the Anne Rice comments in his wonderful Jesus Movement blog. First he quoted Rice’s statement.
“My faith in Christ is central to my life. But following Christ is infinitely more important than following his followers.”
And then he timidly responded.
If you take the time to read what she actually said and you’re a devoted follower of Christ, you’ll see that she’s not giving up on Jesus. She’s tired of the opinionated, I’m against everything, shame-messaged, cloistered in the white suburbs, take me back to the fifties Leave it To Beaver-but let me keep my money and comfort version of so-called evangelical Christianity that wore me out a long time ago.
I’m too old, too tired, and too sick to keep doing stuff that doesn’t matter. I’m through with the silliness, the meanness, the fear, and the pettiness of the religious wardens.
Come on Ed. Have an opinion for heaven’s sake!
My crisis of faith was my inability to separate Christ from Christians. Of course there are those in the church who are angry, wounded, mean, hypocritical, dishonest and fake. You may not have noticed but there is not a screening process to keep those people out. And they are pretty good at looking presentable when they come in the door. My family reunion would look a whole lot better if it was by invitation only. But when you get all of my relatives together you get some rough characters and a couple of great squirrel recipes. The body of Christ can not be anything but dysfunctional because it is a group of sinners in various stages of maturity in Christ or perhaps in no process of maturity at all.
But all I could see in my faith crisis were the hypocrites. The wounders. The gossipers. If I could have met Jesus at Starbucks I would have asked Him how he could love these jerks. I imagined it might go something like this. I am pretty sure that Jesus would order an extra shot Americano but I can’t prove that from the text.
Jesus: So I have noticed that you are struggling a bit. We don’t talk much anymore.
Me: Yeah. Your followers are making me crazy.
Jesus: Sometimes they make my heart ache too. For example, right now one of my children is missing all of the grace I want him to experience. He is missing the joy and freedom that I purchased for him. He is angry and proud and blind to his own sin. But I suffered the Cross for him. And I love him very much.
Me: (smirking) I bet he goes to my church.
Jesus: As a matter of fact he does. It’s you.
That was my epiphany. I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed Jesus. Following Christ is better than following His followers. But the truth is that I need that community as well. Trust me, I don’t need all of them. But there is a sweet spot in the chaos that is called the room of grace. In that room are people who are tired of the self-efforting path to righteousness. There are people who look at your mess and are not repulsed. In fact they grab a towel and clean up the worst of it and promise to walk with you through the rest. They love you more instead of less as you share your junk. And you find yourself being drawn more to Christ and being effused with energy by their loving acceptance. That place does exist. I pray that Anne Rice finds it. I pray that you will find it too. Finding that room of grace saved me from quitting. I am so grateful that I found it. I give Paul the last word today…
Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. (Romans 5, NLT)
Pingback: I wanted to quit too…. « Profound Issues « Controversial « Chief Shepherd
Steve
Dave, glad to hear you didn’t leave to start your own Sunday home worship, or whatever. Been there, tried that, and ended up leaning to my own understanding, and eventually losing my closeness with Christ.
No, we must be a part of his body, both universally and locally. I believe its critical to be a part of each others imperfect lives and as he says, to “love one another”.
Dave
“My faith in Christ is central to my life. But following Christ is infinitely more important than following his followers.” Anne Rice
I take her point. I agree with it. But we need to be careful not to think of them as mutually exclusive.
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1
Jane
Was reading comments here, have to say something,
in regards to the ‘not telling anyone about ‘them’,
you know, that’s Exactly the excuse that was used in the Catholic church when the reports came out about all the children being molested,
you know, I will tell about ‘them’, when there are CHILDREN BEING HURT, in both families with knowledge of and no correction and/or in church ministries, I do believe we have a DUTY, to say something, to tell,
to not, is the equivalent, of sitting there, in silence, while a child or woman is hurt/life long damage and that being the case, then that would be the same as being an
ACCOMPLICE.
Paul said, do NOT be a partaker of their sins…
so reporting TRUTH even if it causes discomfort, we are to Rebuke our fellow man/woman IF we truly LOVE THEM, to not rebuke or say something is basically giving the a.O.K. to evil, for the sake of pleasing others, because it’s far easier than suffering exile or persecution.
So, to that regard, I admire those women, young people, who ARE coming forward and speaking up, about yes, ‘them’…
there are way too many Cults right now hurting children, literally abusing them, spiritual abuse, rape, domestic violence, blatant child abuse, abuse that is more like occultist and ritual going on in Numerous denominations, etc.,
and if we truly Love our neighbor as our self, and say nothing, do nothing, then that Love is a bold face lie.
The reason people are leaving churches in droves, women especially, is because there are too many, who are obeying the rudiments of MEN, and not of GOD. They killed the prophets and the messengers then,
looks like, they are still doing it, but with a more clever means. SAD.
Jane
Susan
Just want to clarify…when I wrote, “…or with enough hurt feelings to want to tell others about “them” “, I meant I didn’t want to turn into a gossip. That I didn’t want to deal with my hurt by talking negatively about those (them) that hurt me by their actions…which would make me a ‘them’, which would keep the cycle going.
Susan
Susan
Wow…God is sooo good. I have been struggling with this very issue. I LOVE Jesus so much but the church I have been going to for the past 10 years doesn’t seem to care about…well…anyone who doesn’t fit in their demographics. I am not a “young married with kids” and therefore don’t count. Heartbreaking. Literally. I’m a widowed 40 something and don’t fit in. At church!
But, because God is good, I woke up after praying (again) about my pain over this issue, and read your blog. What encouragement it gave me! And bothered me, too, because now it seems this type of behaviour is an epidemic. Sigh.
So, all I can do is humble myself and pray that “I” don’t become one of “them”. That Jesus fills my heart w/ compassion for “all”. That this experience doesn’t leave me bitter, or with enough hurt feelings to want to tell others about “them”. But to remember that I can make a difference; I can be the gracious one, I can be the one to “grab a towel and clean up the worst of it and promise to walk with you through the rest.”
This experience has made me realize the type of Christian I want to be.
Blessings,
Susan
Jeremy Seely
Great post, Dave. Count another of your ‘tens of readers’ who’s posting this on his FB page as well.
For those who have been hurt by the “Christian” community, I encourage you to hang in there and keep looking. My family has been richly blessed to find a wonderful and authentic community of believers in our neighborhood….and it’s a church no less! I know, I know, I was stunned as well that I could find a church that is actually a church but I am supremely grateful for it.
Dave
Great post. Gets at the issue of seeing the Church as “they” instead of understanding that it is “us.”
eb
As usual, enjoyed your posts on Anne Rice, etc. 🙂 That’s all. Carry on.
Jane
I too quit what I term as churchianity and mensianity but not Jesus and while I am not an Ann Rice [or vampire] fan, I totally relate…along with THOUSANDS of women who have Quit church. And not just ‘fundies’ either.
Look, it isn’t community when you are surrounded by misogynists who ‘support’ abo use, rape, pedophilia, who hide it, who refuse to confront/or even Think of rebuking or excommunicating offenders and who instead [and this decades long] demonize, trivialize, silence, diminish and erase women and especially those wounded [and I mean serious life long SOUL DAMAGED/FRAGMENTED] women and children. It isn’t community when there is ‘knowledge’ of such yet a continued perpetual contribution to the very attitudes and beliefs of male supremacy. And this isn’t just about the church community women,
this is also about the effects on women OVERSEAS who are also effected, such as, the thousands and I do mean thousands of children right now being accused as ‘witches’ by none other than evangilicals in Africa and these children are as young as 4 and they are tortured in horrible ways, but hey, it’s money right? Or the support by ‘brethren’ of abuse that is horrid [equivalent to Islam] in Ethiopia, Kenya and not only that but the reinforcement of extreme patriarchal gender bias that is keeping women/girls in low status attributing to the HIV problem and the ATTITUDE here generally,
indifference.
Because it’s women’s pain it’s trivial…
and that sadly IS the community at large. Child rape in the Christian churches, forget Catholic, is at this time EPIDEMIC. Those few women who have dared to challenge, demand correction, and again, not just talking fundies here, this is epidemic in Baptist churches, are demonized, threatened, ostracized, hell they might as well put on the big Yellow Star with the tattoo, that’s how bad it is. It’s great, sure, if you’re not one of the broken living in horrid abuse [and I’m talking pastor’s wives here] for 20 something years and the church, community, is more like a model of Elvin Prison. [Iran]
Sad fact is Christianity in the west is more and more like Islam without the state terror [yet] for numerous women–
and yet, the voices against, a small Minority–and hundreds of women are leaving he churches in Droves. The response,
nada, nothing.
So community, nah, don’t think so. I quit attending a church [I actually Tried going back after 15 + years of absense] after I could not stomach the sexist remarks by the pastor, the authoritarian ‘obey the men/bosses’ in Anything, guess sexual harassment for the guest pastor just kind of didn’t matter and so what if there are Women in the congregation who may yes, actually Submit to a boss’s advances, and there was more but I just decided I was better off in the Bible and in Prayer and you know, for so many who Loved in ‘spin’ and ‘speech’ and funny, not one phone call, nothing…Community? [and yes I did reach out, talk a lot, even reached out…I am not the shy type] What community?
Before I came back to Christ [two years ago] I was heavily involved in socialism/communism [grew up in fundie south and well, saw the horrors there but after years of being away I thought the more liberal west/mid west would have been more progressive, sorry to say I was wrong] but anyway…while there was yes dogma and misogyny and betrayal there, and the whole marriage now they have with Islam [why I left], I find it amazing..that the ONE thing I did feel, EVEN WITH THE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS, BECAUSE I WORKED IN WOMEN’S RIGHTS
WAS ‘COMRADESHIP’, COMMUNITY, same with the progressive community and the anarchist. I have not seen That level of community or love in ANY CHURCH, or even among Christians online. [in fairness, minus a few and I do fellowship with them online] But seriously,
maybe it’s how community is defined? My 14 year old goes to a youth group at a church, very popular mainstream…for four years now. Other than one person who takes her to the youth class–not ONE, not a ONE has even called her or befriended her…Unless it’s to ask to ‘are you going to the ski trip’ which we are low income, and can’t afford it, though she is gracious, but still…I tell her about Jesus and love but you know, she ain’t seeing it either. But she still goes…and I get to watch her more and more, be hurt. But oh, they want her to attend some purity ball because Hey the temple of Artemis is the in thing now…they Don’t know her name, ok but they WANT her to attend Purity balls because you know HER VAGINA IS THEIR BUSINESS,
I mean Come on.
I love your blog and there are a lot of great believers out here in blog land…but as far as the church–community,
nah, not even Close. Not even, but I suppose in our capitalist cubicle beige corporate fascist world–sitting Next to a human being, now is what is deemed,Community,
boy, are WE in trouble, as a society, seriously.
Sincerely,
Jane
Gil Herren
I was particularly amused by the graphics and lead-in animations on CNN which stressed that she was leaving Christianity. And she sat there, openly refuting that statement, and STILL they kept coming back with “so, since you’re no longer a Christian, …” I’ve rarely wanted so much to turn the TV off and return to the relative evenhandedness of print journalism than at that moment.
rpplano
Has Robyn been talking to you? How timely your writing is for me, sorta like a right hook to the jaw.
SPKarenO
Great response Dave. This ‘tens of reader’ is sharing this post on my FB page.
Dave Burchett
Thanks Karen!