Today is my lucky day! I am reluctant to share this information with you because all of you will be hitting me up for loans, gifts, donations, etc. Today my cyber mailbox is offering me untold riches. My only decision is whether I should accept the offer from Mrs. Bernice Dos Santos, Dr. Philip Mensah, or Mr. Ming Yang. Maybe I will just be greedy and accept all three. Let’s compare the offers on this amazing day! My comments are italicized. First up is Bernice.   I am Mrs. Bernice Dos Santos a citizen Angola. I am 45 years old with two children. Presently residing in South Africa because of the political crisis in my Country. I got your contact in strict confidence through South Africa Chamber of Commerce. (Good. I have always asked the South Africa Chamber of Commerce to be careful with my contact info. Good job, guys!)I would Honestly want to seek for an immediate assistance from you,
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Therapy has always been a word that generates a good response. Massage therapy and aromatherapy have a nice, relaxing connotation. But I am retiring therapy from my lexicon of positive words after experiencing a round of chemotherapy this past weekend with my wife. Joni and I embarked on the first mile of our marathon stagger to survival. It is hardly a race. Cancer, we are learning,  is a lot of hanging around hospitals, doctors, and nurses. The old cliche of “hurry up and wait” is the motto for anyone going through the monotony of long term treatment. When Joni was diagnosed with breast cancer in March the reality of that ugly word hit hard. But the reality of the reality settled over us Friday as I watched toxic chemicals drip, drip, drip into my beloved’s bloodstream. An Oklahoma newspaper recently ran a story on the weird logic of using poison for good. “You’re putting poison into the system to kill those bad cells,” said Andrea
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Just when I think they cannot come up with another ridiculous idea for a reality show they come up with another ridiculous idea for a reality show. I did a little research and found over 100 shows that could be called “reality” tv. There is actually a show called Reality Wrap-up on VH1 that summarizes all of the intellectual genius of these shows so that you don’t have to watch. What a blessing that is! For example, what if you missed the latest round of Date Plate, the show that pits two culinary Casanovas in a competition to win the stomach and heart of a beautiful bachelorette? The Food Network describes the riveting drama of this show.They work within a budget — and against a clock — each cooking a special meal for a woman they’ve never met. The most delicious part is that the bachelors can see and learn about the bachelorette through a video greeting card, while she knows nothing about the men
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Regular readers of these humble ramblings know one thing for sure. My brain is not wired according to factory specs. So it was no surprise to me that some synapses randomly crossed and I couldn’t get a gospel song out of my mind that I had not heard in, oh, forty years. That is the curse of a mind that can’t remember a security ATM pin number but knows every word to the Mr. Ed theme song. I suppose the trigger for digging this gospel tune out of my musty brain storage unit was thinking about the journey that Joni and I begin in earnest this Friday. Somehow that brought to mind a gospel song that was a favorite in my house growing up. I had a rather unusual spiritual environment as a youngster. My parents were not regular church goers but they loved southern gospel music. We would go to concerts in the big city of Columbus, Ohio featuring groups like the
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A local church is doing an interesting sermon series involving what Jesus would say to various celebrities. The signboard asks the question, What would Jesus say to…. Paris Hilton. Bono. Tom Cruise. Terrell Owens. I wondered what I would say to each of those famous or infamous people. In my fantasy world I would say something like this… Paris Hilton – Look up the definition of shame.Terrell Owens – It is your job to catch passes. Just do your job. I don’t dance in the middle of the room when I do my job well (thank God).Tom Cruise – You might want to rethink the medication thing.Bono – You rock. In the real world I would likely not say any of those things except maybe the “you rock” to Bono. But I was wondering if what Jesus would say to a celebrity is the right question to ask. I am pretty good at figuring out what Jesus would say to others. I have
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It seems the number one rule of our enlightened culture is to not offend anyone. The corollary to that rule is to not clearly communicate whenever humanly possible.  John Leo wrote a great piece at Townhall.com about the avalanche of euphemisms that are overtaking actual communication. In this world a plane crash becomes, to the airlines, a “Hull loss.”   New Orleans police rejected the term “looting” after Katrina, but they conceded “the possibility of appropriation of non-essential items from businesses.” I don’t think too many cared if water, baby food, clothing, and groceries were taken for desperate families. DVD players and HDTV’s are another issue. Exhibit A is survival…exhibit B is looting.   Our educational system is a leader in the growing field of doublespeak. Self-esteem has become the Holy Grail of many education leaders. Leo’s column cited such gems as… A number of schools have eliminated “F” as a mark, and “suboptimal outcome” means failure.  How much better
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Earlier this month I received the most meaningful birthday present of my life. When you get to be my age birthdays are kind of like unspoken prayer requests. You are aware they are there but you don’t want to make them public.   But my family still insists on acknowledging the march of time on my birthday. So the morning of April 6th dawned and my wife gave me a lovely card. And then she presented her gift.  She gave me a rock. She handed it to me, smart alecks. It was not delivered up side of the head. I have to admit that I looked a bit quizzically at the gift. I looked at her and tried to think of the right thing to say.   “Hey, it is just the color I was looking for! And what a cool shape. Thanks!”  But my wife spared me by asking the logical question. “Do you know why I am giving you a
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