A recent behavioral study reinforced something I have emphasized in my own journey. The power of simply reaching out and checking in with others is stunningly underrated as a way to love one another. An article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology detailed how people react when others reach out to them. The authors seemed a bit surprised by their results. We kept finding that people underestimated how much their reach-outs were appreciated. We also found that one reason this underestimation of appreciation occurs is that people do not think enough about how positively surprised others feel upon being reached out to. The role of surprise is important. We found that the one situation in which people do not underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out is when the reach-out occurs in an unsurprising context. For example, if someone is expecting you to reach-out to them, then you are pretty well calibrated to how much they will
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The helpful bit of information below actually appears in a Nissan owner’s manual. Do not fold down the rear seats when occupants are in the rear seat area.(2012 Nissan Juke Owner’s Manual) We laugh but the sad possibility is that this actually happened or some lawyers proactively decided to cover their own rear seat area. A 2009 SAAB manual selfishly suggests “only one person per safety belt”. Mercedes Benz helpfully suggested in 2012 that the driver should “not switch off the ignition while driving” because some features would not work. You can’t make this stuff up. I have never read the owner’s manual of any of the vehicles I have owned from cover to cover. I know that is highly offensive to some. But for some reason I never have the time or concentration to find out how my car can operate more efficiently and trouble free for a longer period of time. Why should I do that? The same
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Our canine friend Maggie recently sought us out while dog sitting a rambunctious young pup. Maggie had played some with the younger dog, patiently endured the persistent attempts to play more, and now was urging us to help her find personal space. We chuckled and Joni remarked about what a good and easy dog Maggie is to care for. Later I reflected on that comment. That was far from the case when we rescued Maggie from unknown circumstances nearly a decade ago. I reviewed her story from my book Stay. Here is what I wrote about our initial experience with Maggie. For the first two weeks Maggie was pretty well behaved. But now she is showing some decidedly less attractive sides to her personality. She is independent. She is stubborn. She is affectionate only when she wants to be affectionate. She acts out on occasion. She chews things that are not approved for that activity. I am finding out that
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Music trivia lovers often talk about one hit wonders. These are songwriters or singers who had only one breakthrough song in their careers. People with similar mileage on their life odometer to mine will remember the catchy and annoying song 96 Tears by ? and the Mysterians. Songwriter Rudy Martinez attempted to change his legal name to the question mark symbol but the government agencies rejected that. He had to settle for the name Question Mark. Imagine that scenario later in life. “Order for….(long pause)….Question Mark????” Some other examples of one hit wonders include Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin and The Macarena by Los Dos Rios. Perhaps the most unlikely candidate to be a one hit wonder songwriter is a Bishop who lived over 700 years ago. A chart topping hit in the 70’s came from a prayer by Richard de Wych who happened to be the Bishop of Chichester. King Henry III refused him the land he
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We all go through hard seasons in life. Recently I have had to walk with some very dear friends through dark valleys. I had to say goodbye to one close friend. Actually, I had to say “see you later”. I rejoice in the hope of our heavenly reunion someday. I love when God sends an unexpected blessing when you are crushed by the weight of this world. My sweet wife Joni calls them “Postcards from God”. I received an electronic post card recently. Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I have become a fan of bluegrass singer, songwriter, and producer Jerry Salley. His song about our mutual hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio still fills my heart with warm memories of my small town upbringing. I absolutely fell in love with his lyrical storytelling. We connected on a professional level and I sent him a couple of my books. In late June I received my postcard. Jerry began reading my
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I can’t remember a more contentious cultural climate in my lifetime. Followers of Christ are wondering how to make a difference in an unfriendly environment. I think modeling a parable related by Jesus is desperately needed today. You know the story well. One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?” The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!” The religious “expert” should have quit right there. Instead he did what many of us try to do when Jesus tweaks our hearts. We look for the loopholes. The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked
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I made a conscious decision a few years ago to focus on communicating the message of grace and identity in Christ. With that I decided to avoid the polarizing path of politics. Some have told me that is cowardly but I can honestly say there is no message more important to me than the liberating freedom of grace. I want to share the joy of living out of what Jesus has already accomplished and what God says is true about me. That I am a saint. A new creation. A beloved child of God. I relate to the mission statement of Paul when he wrote these words. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. (Acts 20:24, NLT) I feel called to be a messenger of hope and grace. Plus I feel like
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