For years I would look into the mirror and wonder where I was on my faith journey. Was I going to Heaven? Was I a good, bad, or indifferent Christian? Was I loved by God? Was I significant? The question of where I was as a follower of Christ and who I was as a person consumed and confused me. The always present Enemy answered the questions above on a regular basis. Probably not going to Heaven. Definitely a bad Christian. Not really being obedient to God or bad things wouldn’t happen to you. Totally insignificant. For too many years I believed the accusations, without considering the question that Philip Yancey asks. “Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the
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Why me Lord? I suspect that most of us have cried out to God with that question. I would also guess that approximately ninety-nine percent of the time we are asking God why some trial has come our way that we feel is undeserved. The same question has been asked throughout history. “Why me Lord? Why me?” A song by Kris Kristofferson cycled up on on my satellite radio today and reminded me of a better perspective. I have loved Kristofferson’s song “Why Me?” since I was a young believer and, if you do the math, you realize that I am not so young a believer anymore. The truth is I am still trying to apply the wisdom of these lyrics. Why me Lord, what have I ever doneTo deserve even oneOf the pleasures I’ve knownTell me Lord, what did I ever doneThat was worth loving youOr the kindness you’ve shown So true. What have I done to deserve even one of His blessings? I
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Perhaps it was my early church teaching that causes me to struggle with the concept that God loves me. I believe He can love others. I believe He loves the homeless person on the street and the struggling inner-city mom trying to hold her family together. But I am less sure that He always loves me. I know me. I know what lies hidden in my heart. I know my reactions. I know my thoughts. God knows all of that too. So in the sad and difficult moments I wonder how He could possibly love me. Perhaps that is your struggle as well. Philip Yancey wrote these thoughts in What’s So Amazing About Grace. “Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked
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