Regular consumers of my humble ramblings (bless your hearts) know that I often find spiritual application from song lyrics both secular and sacred. Blame it on faulty brain wiring at the factory. This week I heard a snippet from Carly Simon’s haunting ballad “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” that triggered today’s musing. The song talks about the ideal of marriage. Her partner wants to marry and is convinced their union will make their relationship different. The lyrical response hit my heart. You say we can keep our love aliveBabe – all I know is what I see – She had seen too many marriages start with fairy tale dreams and end in sorrow. That sad topic is another blog. What hit me on this day was how that principle of believing only what you see is how we, as followers of Jesus, can impact non-believers. We tell people we have good news. We tell people we have an
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A recent behavioral study reinforced something I have emphasized in my own journey. The power of simply reaching out and checking in with others is stunningly underrated as a way to love one another. An article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology detailed how people react when others reach out to them. The authors seemed a bit surprised by their results. We kept finding that people underestimated how much their reach-outs were appreciated. We also found that one reason this underestimation of appreciation occurs is that people do not think enough about how positively surprised others feel upon being reached out to. The role of surprise is important. We found that the one situation in which people do not underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out is when the reach-out occurs in an unsurprising context. For example, if someone is expecting you to reach-out to them, then you are pretty well calibrated to how much they will
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